I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
