my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i think my cat just said my name.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
