he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
