1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
