I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize