no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
