The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
