what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize