Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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