our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
