I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
