Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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