I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
