Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is Oprah even human
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
