I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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