You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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