I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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