Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need a beard to bite.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
