youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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