I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
