Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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