I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
