I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize