I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
