Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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