Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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