I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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