You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i drank out of a bidet.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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