nut hugger
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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