i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize