if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
