Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Drake has all the answers
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
