Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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