Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
