Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
