I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
