he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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