I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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