He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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