Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
