We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there's paper in my vomit.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Couch. On fire.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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