Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
