I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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