yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize