I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
