the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
