I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
