About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize