Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
