Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
