i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
