One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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