you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize