I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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