It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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