We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Randomize
